“Value” The Moment
Recently a friend of mine surprised me with a telephone call. I say surprised me, because normally most of my interaction with him is in the fall of the year. We met in 1980, joined the same fantasy football league, and over the years since that time, we have been through our work careers, his children growing, his now having grandchildren, shared a lot of laughs and enjoyable times. My friend indicated he was not going to continue in the fantasy football league this fall. While his news was surprising, it did not totally shock me when I thought more deeply about it.
Over the last year he has retired from his full time job. His grandchildren live both in New Jersey, and out of state. In fact one of them has a birthday that coincides with the weekend we have been drafting our teams for the league all these years. I also thought about my own life. While certain things spark a lot of passion and interest in my life, (my coaching, sharing a love of major league baseball with my wife, having learned about and enjoyed the world of being an entrepreneur if even on a small scale), other things which I once followed closely do not. I used to watch a lot of television. Now I watch hardly any. I once followed all major spectator sports closely. Other than major league baseball, just about every sport, I have a limited to passing interest at best. I haven’t been to a major motion picture release in over a year, (yet enjoy an annual film festival that is a part of the town in which I live with very much).
One of my current clients has enjoyed his career as an information technology professional/project manager very much. He still has a passion for learning new technologies. However, as we met for a recent session, he was very open to me about moving that interest from doing so in a corporate environment (he has worked predominantly for two major companies), to moving into a role more as a consultant or perhaps starting his own small technology company. His children are grown and moving onto careers of their own. His last job had him commuting by train over an hour each way every day. And, while he very much knows he wants to keep actively involved in what has been his life for many years, the how he goes about it, he wants to take the time and figure out before committing to his next career move.
I remember being passionate about the things that interested me in my life when I was very young and speaking to people who were generations older than me. I found it surprising they did not share the same passion, even if they liked the activity. I remember they’re saying to me that over time that I would find that your attention to the things that called you in your life would change, that would be of interest to you would shift and that things that seem so important to you when you were younger would not hold the same importance sometime in the future. I did not really believe that then. However, I not only believe and accept that now. I actually embrace it. I embrace it so much that I don’t feel compelled to necessarily become completely enthralled with every new fad or sensation which comes along. I may, if I am interested in it, or I feel it can benefit my life. However, if I am able to still do well with the way I have done things, I am usually a long holdout for doing so.
Stay abreast of your values! They will likely change over time. And, that is not necessarily good or bad. In fact, judging your values is likely the last thing you want to do. However, when major life changes come about in your life, (a death of a spouse, loss or movement from a job or career, your children going off to college, movement to a new neighborhood), take time to assess your values. Note the ones which are must haves in your life, and which ones frankly you don’t find attractive anymore. And, make your life the best it can be by living those values that you share and experience in the present.
