The Circle of Control
My career as a coach has given me the opportunity to meet a number of special people. One of my current clients, named Dawn, absolutely falls into that category. Dawn’s career has been spent as a Community Engagement Strategist. In that role, she has supported those needing self-development growth assistance in her suburban Ohio neighborhoods. While in job search transition, as the funding for her most recent employment ended, and while still looking for her next opportunity, Dawn has taken on the ability to draw in income for herself through substitute teaching.
Most recently she shared with me a new tool she developed which had the purpose of assisting her students dealing with overwhelm when confronted by decision making, relationships and worldly events. The intent of the tool is to make the students aware of their ability to use their inner powers of thought, intention and communication to live their life with less anxiety. The tool is called “The Circle of Control”. When Dawn shared it with me for my feedback, I not only saw the benefit of it for students, but frankly for many that I meet in job search. The tool works as follows:
Picture a diagram with an inner circle and an outer circle. On the top of the diagram are the words “The Circle of Control”. On the bottom of the diagram are the words “Self-Love Rainbow”. Picture the outer circle of the diagram in a light blue color, while the inner circle of the diagram is in a violet color. The outer circle identifies those items Out of a Person’s Control. They include:
- The Economy
- Global Political Issues
- Natural Disasters
- My Past Behavior
- Death and Illness
- What Others Choose to Do/Say/Value/Feel
- Traffic or Wait Times
- If Others Are on Time
- The Weather
- Strangers On Social Media
- The Happiness of Other People
The diagram’s inner circle is entitled “In My Control/Influence”. Those items include:
- What I say or do
- How I choose to react
- How I spend my free time
- Who I follow on social media
- The amount of effort I choose to give
- How I talk to myself
- Whether or not I choose to ask for help
As I indicated earlier, when I meet those in job search, especially those that have been just let go from the job they have had, I often find them as individuals living in the “Outer Circle” of the diagram. They are of a belief that no one will hire them, their skills will not be valued, that they will be considered too old to be hired, and many other negative thoughts and beliefs. However, the more our work together, can get them to the values of the “Inner Circle,” where they realize they have the control as to what they believe and the skills and talents they offer to others, this is when progress is made. They learn to target what matches to their talents, skill sets and values, and find those companies that give them an opportunity to use those skills and support those values.
Do you find yourself living in the “Outer Circle in your life? Do you let outside influences impact how you live your days? Take a step back and develop a “Circle of Control” diagram for yourself. You do not have to include exactly the same items that were in the diagram overview I shared above. In fact, Dawn the creator of the diagram, encouraged her students to populate theirs with their own inner and outer influences. However, be ready to put your Inner Influences far more in charge of your life and reactions than your Outer Influences, if you indeed find those Outer Influences are dominating your thoughts.
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There is a proverb that goes back to the 1600’s that says “Curiosity Killed the Cat.” And, while my intent is not to anger or alarm any pet lovers, its meaning is that a person who gets too nosy into the affairs of others, risks being prone to having a reaction they would prefer not receiving. However, when it comes to the world, I am a part of, assisting those in their job search find their next opportunity, curiosity is a trait that often will benefit them. Now certainly, I do not mean one should go prying into the private information of companies for which they want to work, or do things that are illegal, but there are ways to learn of possible opportunities of organizations that may need one’s talents.
