Knowing When It’s Time To “Move On”
Fourteen years ago on October 24, 2009, I married a terrific woman with a terrific family. The family came to the United States in 1960 as refugees from Castro’s Cuba. They consisted of a father and mother and nine children. While the parents were well educated, (having practiced law in Cuba), none of that mattered when they got to the United States. For a while they scrimped and saved like most immigrants and refugees. They were grateful for help that they received from the Catholic Church and kind hearted individuals that provided them living space, and second-hand furniture for their home. Ultimately 3 years after arriving the father became a Spanish professor at Seton Hall University. While the mother no longer worked outside the home once in the United States, to raise the nine children, each of those children went on to get a college education, and move forward into such fields as medicine, education, and law.
This piece is about one of the children, my brother-in-law Luis. While the 4th in line of the 9th children, he has always in some ways been somewhat special. From childhood polio at 2 years of age, to growing up to be a very devout Roman Catholic, (still going to mass daily), to being the father of eight children himself, to an ever-growing number of grandchildren, he is in many ways “the glue” that holds the family from Cuba” together even now that his father and mother have passed.
Early on in my marriage to his sister, Carolina, I needed the assistance of a notary. As Luis had his own law office and practice, (which at its height had himself, his brother Manuel, his brother-in-law Joseph, and various sisters, children and nephews helping with administrative functions), I asked him if his practice had such an individual. Luis indicated to me that in our home state of New Jersey, as a practicing attorney, he had the authority to notarize documents. However, it was less about the notarizing of the documents I remembered but a line he said to me that stuck with me to this day, “I will be a practicing attorney until death do us part.” As one who owned and ran his own business, the thought of moving on and retiring and closing the business never even entered his mind.
About 18 months ago Luis was diagnosed with prostate cancer that when found had spread to other portions of his body. He had to undergo several months of intensive treatment with an experimental trial drug. Fortunately, the treatments not only went well, but subsequent scans have shown the cancer has not spread further.
However, the changes to his life due to the cancer diagnosis put him into extended thought. About the same time, he was going through his cancer treatments, his oldest brother Bill passed away from a heart attack while driving to work one January morning in 2022. His 2nd oldest brother Manuel who had experienced health issues of his own, had stepped away from the law practice and ultimately decided to retire, except for an occasional fill-in stint as a municipal court judge when a substitute was needed. Luis’ eight children were all grown, 5 of them married, 3 others in relationships that are now in engagements and will be leading to marriage over the next year or so. His wife and him did some downsizing, sold the family home, and moved to a home that more suited their needs in a neighboring town. It was important for them to still have a place to host their children and grandchildren for family gatherings.
While Luis is always there to help any family member in need, he is a very private person with his own thoughts, only sharing with his wife Anne. It is rare for him to share his inner-most thoughts with his siblings or the extended family. However, several months ago he alerted us all to the fact that he was closing his law practice. The process would take several months to execute as he would no longer take on new clients, and would assist remaining clients with their needs, before helping them to locate future legal representation. As Luis’ office had always been “a family practice,” he invited family members to take furniture or memorabilia that they would like. The official closing came on October 27, 2023.
Again, while he has never shared a word of his thought process with me, other than to say he was at peace with the decision, and had gotten the counsel of God in making his decision, as a coach who works with those who find themselves in transition at various phases of their life, I could identify with Luis every step of the way. And, while when individuals ask him, what he will do next, he just shrugs and says, “Whatever is meant to happen will happen,” it is obvious he is truly at peace with himself and his decision to move on from the practice.
Much like Luis, we all at one point or another face decision points as to when it is time to move on from one aspect of our life to another. Whether it is in selling a long-time family home, moving on from a broken relationship, or in moving onto a new career option, or possibly putting career in the rear-view mirror and living off one’s savings, we all sometimes realize that we must address the present and move on to the future. May you all be able to do so with the thoughtfulness, comfort, and peace that Luis exhibited when he faced his choice to move on from a life and a business that he thought would be with him “until death do us part.”
