Your Interests Change Over Time
As I sit down to write this blog it is a week away from the next Super Bowl. When I think of times past, I would have been getting ready for the big game, either by realizing I would be watching at a friend’s house, reading the various news articles about the game, or having formed my own opinions by having watched a season full of football. However, especially over about the last 3 to 5 years, while I may watch the game of football, I do not have much passion to do so. In fact, it is possible, that I may not watch the Super Bowl at all.
The Super Bowl is just one example. I am finding, as I continue my life’s journey, the number of items on which I focus is getting to be less and less. The ones on which I do spend my time, (my coaching business, my daily Sudoku puzzles, my regular studies of the Bible/Catechism of my Catholic Faith), are regular daily habits for me. My vacation travels focus more on experiences or family outings and accomplishments, than just pure getting away “from the usual routine.” Some may say, I am getting old. (Yes, I am but to me there is more than just that fact). I honestly feel that your interests, depending on your circumstances evolve over time.
I think back about 17 years ago. I had just left my corporate job. I was now free to do whatever I wanted to do. What that would be I did not know, but I figured I would just “hang back” and wait for things to come to me. My thoughts at that time went back to when I was a younger man, and hearing those of my dad’s generation longing to wait for retirement, when they could “do nothing” and just live their life each day. My father never got to do that. He passed away at 53 years old. My first wife never got to do that. She passed away at 55 years old. There were others from that generation, who also did not live much past their 65th birthday.
As my life was going through it’s day by day in 2008, I remember one day early in the year sitting in the parking lot of a Barnes and Noble. I started looking at the people in the parking lot. Many of them were 20 to 25 years older than me, who was in my mid-50’s at the time. It started to hit me. YOU CAN JUST NOT SIT BACK AND DO NOTHING FOR THE NEXT HOWEVER MANY YEARS. You need to find what is right for you.
At the time, I still had an outplacement benefit that was unused from my previous employer. I looked to use the benefit immediately. I attended sessions on different ways one could lead their life in their 50’s and beyond. I spoke to counselors. I expressed to them what I missed in my life, and what I did not want in my life. They told me what they were hearing, and expressed that perhaps coaching was a direction I wanted to explore. I did, and I have not looked back since. I was able to design a life, small one person business, and way of working that has not only worked well for me, but gave me a basis for concentrating my efforts. Along the way I also began to realize what things in my life called to me, and which frankly repulsed me. I was able to explore and pursue the ones in which I had interest, and looked to move away from the ones that did not. Even now 17 years later, that list of items evolves, so that some that were attractive in 2008 are not so attractive in 2025. At the same time, I realize I have the freedom and the choice to replace activities with other items of interest.
In working with my clients, I discover my path is not at all unique. Clients will come to me and say, now that their children are through school, that they want to explore something that has always called to them. They asked will they be able to do so? (I assure them they can). They will indicate that they do not know how to go about the exploration process. I encourage them to try not to go the new path alone but to partner with others along the way. I will even suggest they might want to try the path on a trial basis, (perhaps as a volunteer, maybe on a trial basis, or helping with an event or two), to see if they want to continue to pursue it, and at what level of activity.
Your focus and interests will change over time. Do not let others dictate what those interests are. Do not let others make you feel guilty for looking to take a different path. Instead, look to focus on those items that call to you, and perhaps let go or walk away from those that do not fit into your life plan and lifestyle any longer.
