You Never Know Where Things Will Lead
I must admit, I can get very analytical in my thought process. It just happens to be built into me. And, while I realize that many people like to live in the moment, and would like to forget about the past and not obsess about it, I find it can be a learning experience for me.
For example, I was lying in bed this morning before having to get up for church. I found myself staring at my wife with whom I recently celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. I then found myself thinking the following. Who could have ever predicted that a woman who was born in Cuba, and a fellow born in the United States, might possibly meet each other someday, let alone marry. Thinking further, I began to realize that the person who connected us knew each of us from very different circumstances. In the case of Carolina, it was as a co-worker in the Newark, New Jersey school system. For me, it was only because my first wife had a friend from childhood with whom she stayed in contact, also was a Newark elementary school teacher. My wife’s friend had a 60th birthday party for her husband. The friend invited my wife and I, along with the co-worker to the party and we sat at the same table. A friendship developed from that evening. My first wife ultimately passed from cancer. The co-worker religiously called our house to check on my wife, first talking to her, and then me as my wife’s condition weakened her. After my wife passed, the co-worker stayed in touch to check on me. About 18 months after my wife passing, it occurred to her that my current wife and I had a lot in common, and might enjoy meeting each other. We did, and after spending about a year getting to know each other, we decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our life together as a married couple.
I use this for instance as an example of you never know where the connections and experiences of your life may lead. Think of your own life. How did you learn of or connect to the job you had now? Was it simply you applying through an online ad, or was it because a friend of yours knew of an opening at that company that aligned with your skills. How did you learn about the home where you now live? What went into the set of decisions that decided where you went to college? The list of circumstances and situations go on and on.
In working with those that I do in career search, one of the things I look to stress to them is that networking and direct contact are responsible for over 80% of individuals landing their next job role. That means just applying to ads or using a Recruiter or Agency to find a job for you only works on average for most people about 20% of the time. And, I would dare to say if those percentages were to change for individuals based on the work field they are in, the leaning would have Networking and Direct Contact going up, and Answering Ads or Recruiters going down in many instances. Yet often individuals are reluctant to go beyond the straight Answering Ads or Recruiter route.
Perhaps you have heard the quote that goes as follows: “There are three different types of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder, what happened. To be successful, you need to be a person that makes things happen.” I would venture that the things you really cared about in your life, the ones for which you have passion, came about because you took steps to make them happen. If you are facing or contemplating some major transition steps in your life, think back on some of the successful events or experiences that happened in you past. What occurred in the sequence leading up to them that led to their becoming part of your life. Did those steps require some action on your part, (going to a meeting you did not want to, exploring a topic you thought you would not enjoy, taking the advice of someone you thought did not have your best interests in mind). What is the worst thing that can happen if you took some action that you did not anticipate having to do?
While not “obsessing on the past” is often sound advice, reflecting on it, and seeing how different circumstances have led to some of the best things that have happened to you, may be the key to moving you forward to that next big moment you are meant to experience.
