Watch Your Language

Watch Your Language

I am sure many of you have either read articles or heard lectures and discussions on the power of language. Often such discussions are focused on how we may say things to other people. Depending on another’s experiences, background and culture, how we may say something may have a definite impact on another. Or perhaps our style and tone may put another on the defensive, or hurt them deeply, when perhaps our mindset is one where we believe we are helping them or looking out for them.

One place where we often overlook our use of language is in the “self-talk” we have with ourselves. In my profession as a Job Search Strategy Coach, the use of language by my clients and those whom I guide is so important as a part of their job search. Job search can quickly sap someone’s confidence. The longer that job applications go unanswered, those to whom one speaks do not appear to be able to help at all, or material one reads speaks of either high jobless rates or difficulties in particular job sectors, the more discouraged a job searcher can get.

However, often a tweak in one’s “self-talk,” can have a significant impact on how they move forward with the task at hand. And, since job search is first and foremost a “research project,” this is important to realize. Let me provide some examples.

Often the job searcher when asked what they want to do next, will start by reciting the jobs and type of work they have done in the past. And, while that innocently would appear to not be harmful, it has the following impact. The job searcher and their reader or listener is now focused on the past. They are focused on what the person has done, which could lead to reactions such as follows. “Gee, we don’t need that type of person in our company.” Or, “There really isn’t a call for that skill anymore,” or “Boy, I feel sorry for you given what is happening in the world now.” The job searcher’s language needs to be forward focused. They should be stating and presenting the skills they possess, and how they can be used in helping others. Their wording should be focused on the types of opportunities they are seeking, not where they have been. By taking such an approach, the job searcher, and the audience with which they are looking to connect, is forward focused.

Another example is when the job searcher, (and please note, this approach can be used by anyone who has a large sized project that they are looking to get done), is saying, “I HAVE a lot of things that I have to get done.” A better way of stating it is to say, “I am CHOOSING to get these tasks done today, as steps to assist me in finding a job.” Notice, that the mindset is one of the person making the statement having control over their life as opposed to be “a slave to it.” It shows there is a conscious decision in that the step being chosen to be done is one to both move them forward, and is the one that makes the most sense to them at the moment. And, ideally, if what is chosen is a step with a measurable start and end point, the job searcher sees a “sense of accomplishment” in getting the chosen step done.

So, what are some other examples of the use of language and how it can be modified, to provide a sense of forward thinking? Here are some examples:

Negative Language	Positive Language
Should, might	Choose, desire, want
Need to	It’s important to me
Have to	Desire to
Can’t	Am not willing to, choose to
Always, never	Sometimes, often, seldom
Must	Choose, desire
But	And
Try	Intend, aim
Maybe	Yes I will, No I won’t
I think	I know, I don’t know

It is often easy to fall into the trap of using language in a negative way, especially when we are tired or overwhelmed. However, working past that tendency and “Watching One’s Language,” will help one go a long way toward accomplishing the tasks they are looking to do to move their life forward.