Serenity
I was chatting with a colleague one afternoon about a month ago. At the time, I had a lot of things on my mind. One was upcoming medical procedures I would be having at the end of the month of February. Another thing was the continually inherit inclement and snowy weather in my area of the country. It has never been a secret to those who have known me that when the weather gets snowy, Tony’s stress level goes up, particularly if he has events planned on his calendar that may take him out of his house. Put on top of that day to day client preparations, family squabbles and just sometimes getting caught up in the turmoil of the world in general, my colleague could easily see through my anxiousness. My colleague who is a psychotherapist said to me, frankly at times like this, you probably want to get a copy of and recite the “Serenity Prayer.”
The “Serenity Prayer” has been around for many years. In doing the research on its origins, it was actually first introduced in the 1930’s and has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous as a mantra for its members. While I realize that not all of my readers may have the same feeling about God and religion, I still feel sharing its message and what it implies is important. The prayer itself goes like this:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference”
So what things was I let bother me that I could not change? Certainly the weather itself, or even the actual forecast of the weather itself was out of my control. Opinions and reactions of family members I could not change, only the way I addressed them, and the opinions and approaches I took to life. And, certainly, I could not change the reactions of each and every person in the world to events going on in our society. I could either choose to read, or choose to listen to accounts of the news. I could also choose to not do so, or at maybe a very cursory basis learn about an event that may have happened, and just leave it at that.
Even with my health issues, ultimately the outpatient procedures and test I was to have would produce feedback to my doctors. But, until the tests were conducted, I could try to help myself with little things, (get plenty of rest, eat as sensibly as possible, stay as warm as possible, etc.). However, being “my own doctor,” and determining the outcome of procedures and tests before they happen was not an ability in my control.
I work with those in job search every day. Job search is among the most stressful things that an individual can go through, particularly when they have not done it for a while, or they see that their income is dwindling, while the day between their last paycheck and new opportunities are expanding. In working with clients I try to make them aware of the things they can control, (the way they craft the message of what they offer, networking with contacts that can lead them to opportunities of people hiring, directly reaching out to companies, and looking to apply), versus the methods that quickly take the search out of their control, (applying online and just waiting to hear, turning their resume’ over to a recruiter and waiting for the recruiter to alert them to opportunities). And, while I’m not 100% sure that serenity can ever be part of the job search process, it sure becomes more possible when you have taken the steps within your control to help advance your search.
So if you find yourself in emotional turmoil, look to consider adding the following into your life. Give thanks for the basic things you have in your life (food, shelter, clothing, etc.). Practice acceptance. Life is going to have its unfavorable moments. Realizing that, helps better to accept them when they happen. Be kind. For the most part when you are kind to others, they will respond the same way to you. Get enough sleep. You tend to react better when you are well rested than when tired. Keep your surroundings clean. The more dis-shelfed your surroundings are, the tenser you will be. Catch yourself when you find your mind wandering. Concentrate on the task or item of the moment, not the ones you can’t do anything about in the present. Keep the serenity prayer or serenity quotes handy. When you find yourself losing your calm and perspective, giving yourself time to take a few breaths, and either recite the prayer or quotes will calm you down if you give it a chance to do so.
