Remaining Aware – We All Have Experienced This Differently
Leading into the first week of May, I was not feeling well. I was experiencing stomach problems which was sapping my energy. At the same time I had a busy calendar of work related items. Since the COVID-19 virus had everyone working from home, I was able to muster up enough energy to address the work items on my calendar, while using the times in between that my calendar was free, to walk to the next room to lie down and build my energy back for my next call. Fortunately, after some guidance from my doctor, a medication approach and time, I was back to normal.
I noticed during this time period I was receiving emails from individuals I know encouraging me to take on this activity, or join them on an activity they were having, etc. When feeling at my lowest, I found myself getting very annoyed at these “intrusions,” especially from the ones that were “personal connections,” individuals writing me one to one. In particular, I noticed no one in these contacts was asking me of how I was doing? No mention or asking if “all were well.” While you may say I might have been over sensitive, especially since the COVID-19 virus, lockdowns and fallout has occurred, I have been very conscientious and cautious as I have reached out to others.
What may they be feeling at the moment? Is it possible they may have been dealing with a lot more than just the area or item about which I was writing them? Could they themselves be ill at the moment? Could they have had a loved one who was suffering from illness and needed care or treatment? Going even further, I know I knew of 4 individuals I had known who had passed away from the virus. I knew of another family that lost their mother in a car accident, yet could not be present to provide last respects as funerals, masses of burial, or even family members being present at the burial site, was not allowed. I had read the stories of individuals having family members die alone in the hospital, while the family was barred from being at their bedside.
My point is this. While we often think that others are going through the same experiences and emotions as us, this is something that is not always true. Given a major crisis, that only gets accentuated even more.
We all have our own way of processing stressful situations. It takes each of us to move through life changing experiences at our own pace. Even now, as we are slowly reaching the “recovery” aspect of this worldwide pandemic, reactions are different by individual, geographic region or personal experience and values.
I have happened to live in an area of the United States that was more greatly impacted by the effects of the virus than other areas. I have family members that live in less impacted areas. They are anxious to get life “back to normal.” They realize there is “some danger” but feel that is only applicable to “vulnerable populations.” It has made me aware that I have likely not fully understood the impact of a tragedy in another area of the country in the past, (fires, floods, damaging weather, etc.), since if one does not experience something directly, they are more likely to in their mind lessen the impact of the event.
As we move forward as individuals and collectively in the coming months, heighten your sensitivity to the feelings of others. Realize that even if you are at a different point in your mindset in moving forward with your life in a post corona virus pandemic world, they may not be in the same place yet. Do not look to force them to do or experience things they are not ready to do. When they’re ready they’ll look to take the steps they’ll need. And, when they indicate they are ready to do so, be patient and be willing to help them take the steps they need to move forward, in whatever endeavors, at that time they are looking to pursue.
