What Is Your Body Language and Voice Tone Saying?

What Is Your Body Language and Voice Tone Saying?

I meet many people in my line of work. They are in all age ranges and professions. Some of them are in current jobs and are looking to move onto something else, while others have been out of work from anywhere between a week or two, to many months. However, I am usually able to tell if they are going to have a long and difficult search process immediately, by two distinct physical traits. A slumping and depressed body language and a tone of voice that is cautious, apologetic, whiny and afraid of “making a mistake,” is an instant signal to me of someone who is going to have a difficult time getting hired.

Please do not misunderstand me. Even those who are upbeat and well-spoken can have long job searches. They can even get depressed. However, they are usually individuals who are first of all smart enough to develop a step by step strategy that continues to move them forward. They look forward to meeting new people, sharing those skills that they have, learning how they can be of help to another. They’re conversation and body language is such that they are interested in learning more about another. They’ll ask engaging questions of another, pull closer into conversations both verbally and physically. They act and sound like they enjoy being alive.

A fellow networking and coaching partner of mine says to his audiences “Negative and depressed people do not get hired.” (At least they are not intentionally hired, unless you have an employer who is so desperate for a body in a role, that they’ll hire anyone with remotely the skills needed if they are breathing). In most job situations, you are with the people with whom you work, 5 days a week, 7 to 8 hours a day. Sometimes it is even longer than that. Often the individuals with whom you work, are a part of your life more in an average week than members of your family. Any worthwhile organization are going to want those individuals to work together well, and be at their best to support the customers or fellow employees of that business.

So what are some things one can do to improve their body language and voice tone?   First of all, take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Is the person in that image, standing up straight? Do their shoulders droop? Is there a smile on their face? Do they look as if they are ready to go out and learn more about the world around them, as opposed to hoping to “survive in it?” When they meet someone, do they express themselves as if they are glad to see the person they are meeting, or if someone they have not met before are they inquisitive to learn more about them? Even shy people can have good meaningful conversations with new people they meet if they have open ended questions to ask others, and keep themselves fully engaged by listening to the other person’s response. Are you asking meaningful follow-up questions based on the responses that you hear?

As for your appearance, how are you dressed? In professional situations, while a business suit or dress may not always be expected or appropriate in today’s world, a nice looking “business casual” outfit is still preferred over lounging wear, shorts, sweat suits or sandals. (Believe me, I have seen all of these in professional networking meetings) Do you comb your hair?  Do you shuffle when you walk, or walk with purpose and confidence?

While you can find many a list of “Do’s and Don’ts” elsewhere on the internet, from those far more fashion savvy than I, remember a smile, making eye contact and addressing others with respect goes a long way. Even if that person with whom you are connecting is from a different generation, ethnic background, gender, religious beliefs, etc., I have never found it to fail me that politely connecting with another, and having confidence in myself goes a long way in the building of relationships and moving forward in your life.