Removing the Emotion From Your Decision Making
Removing the Emotion From Your Decision Making
2020 has been a year to stress individual emotions like no other. Even as the year comes to an end, and the calendar will move us into 2021, there is still a great deal of uncertainty about our surroundings, when we may be able to safely do the things we love, and come back to some semblance of the life that we knew before.
In recent weeks many of my clients, and I myself in my personal life have needed to make decisions that were major next steps in our lives. Those decisions would still have been major even without the impact of COV19 in our lives. For the clients, they involved the happy prospect of actually having to decide between multiple job offers. For my wife and me, it involved a decision on an item we unexpectedly had to select for our home.
Often when a big decision needs to be made we find ourselves pondering it in our head. And, at times that is the only option open to us. If for example we are in traffic and driving along, and we come up upon a delay that will impact the timing of our arrival at our destination, we may quickly need to decide if we are able to reroute ourselves or just stick out the delay and call ahead to our destination. However, with the decisions that my clients had to make, and the one that my wife and I had to make, while needing a relatively quick response, there was still some time to process options. Here are some tips on how we went about it.
For the clients, I immediately suggested they put in front of themselves, (either written on paper, or recorded on a document in front of them), each offer they were receiving. List out the particulars of the offer, (salary, bonus, vacation time, benefits, educational opportunities, commuting time/work style, intangibles), and view and evaluate each item for each job. Rate it as a plus or a minus. (I also explained the clients could even add a “fictitious offer” which would have their ideal scenario for each factor in their decision making). By basing their decision on factors in front of them that they know, as opposed to battling them around in their mind, a clearer picture should emerge as what may be best for them. Yes, there is the question of am I making the right decision, and will I regret what I left behind. And, while that can happen, they would know they made their choice by taking the time to weigh as many factors as possible.
For my wife and me, the decision was based on everyday item in our life. About a week before being faced with our decision we had noticed our washing machine was not working properly. The clothes were not properly spinning out the water in them. We summoned a repairman and he informed us that the repair would cost as much as a new washing machine. While we could continue to use the washer “as is,” it would mean wringing out the clothes completely by hand after each wash, before putting them in the dryer, or hanging them up to dry. For heavier clothes in particular, that would be a challenge. We decided we needed to purchase a new machine. (NOTE: The repairman’s company did not sell washing machines so he had no stake in telling us that the current machine would be of such a magnitude that it would cost as much or more than a new machine).
My wife quickly made a suggestion of a local dealer from where we could get the machine, (which made sense to me also). Given the COVID19 situation and our tendency to have purchased more things online throughout 2020, we began looking at models. The number of choices were several. And, at first as we were looking my wife commented on the number of options we would have to decide upon. However, I quickly noted and stated to her, let’s start by eliminating the ones we would not want. Our current machine has an impeller in it as opposed to an agitator, and we have come to like that fact. That eliminated the machines designed with agitators. My wife wanted the washing machine to be white, so any of the models that were a different color were out. I then suggested to my wife we measure the size of our current machine, and also gain a perspective of how deep a drum was inside the machine. That came to me as we were looking at the models. I realized, that in terms of our washing needs, there was just the two of us.
We did not have children, particularly soiled laundry, etc. In doing so, we were able to eliminate the models that were really designed for families of four or more. We were able to bring our decision down to a couple of models, have ordered the machine and it should come within a week of when this is being written.
Removing the emotion from your decision making is not always easy to do. I should know having grown up in a pretty emotional home, and being somewhat reactive myself. But, one of the positive messages I have taken from 2020, particularly in changing the way I have chosen to do a number of things in my life which were regular staples, is the following. If I rationally think through what I either want to do, or need to have done, find the risk to be minimal or non-existent to my health, and that I could accept it as being a regular part of my life, I felt comfortable with my decision. I will look to keep that mindset going forward even after things get back more to the way they were. It has become not only less stressful, but more freeing in the living of my day to day life.
