Perhaps you have heard that old fairy tale saying “You have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince?” It came to mind recently as I was working with a client. He is in the process of exploring a new career path. Frankly he knows he would be very good at it because he both has the skills to do the type of work well and it is something that he enjoys doing. As it is, the type of work that he is pursuing is done on a part-time basis and of a nature where you are taken on staff and then called when work is available. He got called a couple of times, did a good job, but never got any other call backs. Now he is not sure if his thought on pursuing this avenue makes any sense.
This is not an uncommon pattern. We have an interest in a particular activity. After giving it a try or two, if others tell us we may not be cut out for it, or that there are no immediate needs for our services, we decide not to pursue it further. In the case of my client, there are many vendors who do the type of work he is looking to pursue. Just because one potential employer does not give you the opportunity you seek, does not mean there are others who will not do so. However, if you decide after the first experience the result is a signal not to pursue further, you will never know.
Just like the princess looking for her prince, (or if turned around the other way, a prince looking for his princess), one needs to go in with their eyes wide open. What characteristics do you as an individual possess that will be appealing to the other person? Do you display those talents? If in a job situation, are you able to show them where you are able to address the needs of the position they have? Are you in turn, open to their needs and how you can help support them? So, much of life is being the right “fit” for the person with whom you are interacting. Whether it is an employee with an employer, a couple starting a relationship, a vendor starting with a new customer or any scenario where individuals interact with each other, the ability to meet each other’s needs is so important.
However, most things that turn out to be worthwhile take time. I’ve been at my coaching practice at this point for four years. Along the way I’ve found that by writing and by providing small talks or seminars at libraries or job transition groups I am best able to initially communicate with the audience that I am meant to serve. I’ve also learned how to become comfortable getting to know others that I have not met previously. By nature, I am a shy person. When I began this phase of my life, the thought of networking with others was not comfortable for me. However, I found that certain of my traits, my empathy for others, my curiousness in hearing their stories, the opportunity to use conversations as learning experiences, were all strengths I could use to make networking more natural for me. Because of that, I have met many wonderful people over the last few years, many who have become a regular part of my life and many I have been able to help either as clients or as friends.
Therefore, when you are starting down a new path, and it does not go the way you expected right away, take a step back. Do you really dislike the new path so much you do not choose to pursue it, or are you backing away because you are reading external signals that say you should not move forward? Think back to something that works well in your life now that took time to take place. Ask yourself is this right now a “frog”, that if I give myself time to get to know better, will turn into a prince or princess for me? You will never know what is meant to be next in your life, if you stop pursuing if from the very start.
