Missing the Routine I Had Come to Know
One of the challenges that those that I meet or work with who move into job search face, particularly if their job has ended or has been eliminated, is being accountable for their own time and schedule. When we have employment to go to in a brick and mortar building, or school to attend, or something which takes us from our home to another location, often our schedule is set for us. We either must catch a particular mode of public transportation by a given time. Or, if we are driving our own car to the location, we learn what time we must be started on the road, to negotiate traffic and get to our destination on time.
Even those who move into business for themselves, and work out of their home learn this lesson. It certainly was one that I had to learn when I began my own business about 10 years ago. In some ways I took it for granted. At the same time I started my business, I had gotten remarried and moved to the new community. My wife and I live in a condominium that is a short walk away from a walking downtown with small shops and places to eat.
While occasionally I would eat at home, more often than not I would walk to the small downtown, to get something at one of the local eateries. There were about 4 to 5 places that I particularly liked, and often in a given week I would visit each one once, and then return the following week. If I was not near my neighborhood, I would look for someplace to eat where I might be around lunch time. My wife even said to me, “I have lived in this neighborhood almost 15 years longer than you, and yet you know more people around town than I do.”
Additionally, while many coaches work with their clients exclusively by telephone, I was known as the coach who did not mind seeing clients in person. For me there was nothing like that person to person interaction. While it might mean I would see less clients, since I would have to factor in travel time to the destination where I was meeting the client, that arrangement was OK by me.
That all changed in March of 2020 with the arrival of COV-19 in massive numbers in my home state of New Jersey. All the eateries in the neighborhood closed for sit in dining. They did have takeout, and I would avail myself of it occasionally, but that was a quick stop by, say hello, pick up my food and be on my way. Client sessions all moved to telephone or online meeting technology. The networking groups of which I would regularly take part were all done the same way.
As the months have passed, little has changed. Yes, there is outdoor dining at some of the places in my neighborhood, but I don’t feel comfortable participating. Networking meetings, and the meeting with clients in person is strongly discouraged or even forbidden by the subcontractors for which I do coaching work. However, the biggest challenge in all this that I still struggle with, is the giving myself permission to “structure my day.” You may ask, what do I mean by that?
The tendency is if you are working exclusively online, is to stay exclusively online all day. When one task gets done, I’m immediately moving into another. As I have eliminated much of the print media that comes into my house, I find myself continuing to keep myself informed by going to and reading different online websites. Additionally, my computer is always a short walk away from all other rooms in the house. If I have sent communication emails to individuals, or if someone has reached out to me, I often feel like I need to respond immediately. As such, I’m conscious of “checking in” on my computer no matter what I am doing at home. Prior to March, I certainly was not one to check online media while I was driving. I used the lunch time breaks, or drives to clients, and meeting them as in a public place such as a coffee shop or a library to recharge. There was balance in my day.
So, how do I move forward from this dilemma? It is a challenge, but I have given myself permission to take breaks in my day. During those breaks, maybe I will read from a book that has nothing to do with my work. Or, I’ll do a word or number puzzle. If really tired, I may allow myself to take a nap. And, I do make sure I break for lunch each day, even if it is having that lunch at home. In fact, I find that is a good time to take a break, share lunch with my wife and learn how her day is going.
Whether we realize it or not we all develop routines. And, when they work for us, (or even if they are what we get used to), we take them for granted. When they are disrupted, as they have been for many of us in 2020, we often need to take the time to “re-learn,” what is going to be the revised routine which is going to help us move through our day.
