Meaningful Conversations
As human beings we have the ability to communicate continually with each other. Some of that communication can be in the form of very quick acknowledgement of each other, (saying Hello, smiling and nodding and then moving on). Sometimes it is in the form of what has been dubbed “Small Talk,” where we may say a few sentences to someone about perhaps the weather, or an item in the grocery store, or a car whizzing down the street. In today’s world, many “communicate,” via text messages or emails or electronically. However, I often feel that many have lost the art of “meaningful conversation.”
How would I define meaningful conversation? It certainly involves having a curiosity about another individual, the activities they have been experiencing, or the feelings they have had due to recent events in their life. It includes the use of open ended questions when connecting with them, sincere engagement during the conversation (focused on the person with whom they are speaking and not looking all around the room or area you are in), and an empathy and acknowledgement of their feelings. It likely involves nodding one’s understanding, or asking follow-up questions to gain further clarification, if understanding is not present.
We all want to be valued and appreciated. We all want to be heard. I know when I go through periods of time where I feel that my feelings are not valued that I can go through feelings of depression, anger, frustration, or any other word you can use to describe when you are not feeling positive. On the other hand, when I have met someone and we have had a meaningful conversation, an exchanging of ideas, a sharing of experiences, a connection, or in some cases a re-connection after a long period of time, I can be exhilarated for the rest of the day.
Yes, having a meaningful conversation can mean opening up oneself and sharing feelings that you may be cautious about sharing with others. I think that is why often times in today’s society what I’ll observe is that someone will settle in at a table in a restaurant or cafe’, or even in a library or town square and immediately take out their telephone. There are feelings of being “safe.” The phone is an inanimate object. It has no feelings. It can provide connection, but at the same time devoid of feeling. It is a way of saying you are being “social,” while having the protection of hiding behind a screen.
However, for those of us who value the “human connection,” while the phone can work as a helpful tool, it cannot beat the actual conveying words back and forth with another individual. Whether that be in person or on the telephone, and using it as Alexander Graham Bell designed, (to talk to the person on the other end), nothing can beat the connection through a meaningful conversation with another individual. If you are finding yourself feeling isolated, down, disconnected, etc., ask yourself with whom have you had your last meaningful conversation? If you can’t remember or are not sure, who may be someone with whom you would like to connect? If far away give them a telephone call and actually talk to them. And, if they are close by, set up a coffee, or a luncheon date. And, when you meet them, both of you agree, KEEP THE PHONE IN YOUR POCKET UNTIL YOU ARE DONE.
