I Chose Never To Jump Off the Brooklyn Bridge

I Chose Never To Jump Off the Brooklyn Bridge

When I was a youngster, I remember times when either my sisters, brother or I, might ask my Mother if we could do something that it appeared all the other kids were doing. Usually the pleading went something like this; “But, Mom, EVERYONE is doing it.” And, if my Mother did not think it was a good idea, or something that she felt was safe or right for her children to do she would respond, “If everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you jump off too?”

As I grew up and my circle of friends grew I learned that first of all, a lot of my friends had Moms’ who must have went to the same school of advice, (they had heard the Brooklyn Bridge question too). Secondly, little by little, I began to realize that those words started to shape who I was. In some cases yes, perhaps I was more cautious than other people. But, in other cases I was respected for staying true to my convictions. I still remember and treasure the classmate who wished me well in terms of my future, and told me how much he respected me “because I was an individual.”

This has all re-emerged for me because it appears that even as our world appears to battle one crisis after another in 2020, that individuals appear to want to “take sides,” as to who is right and who is wrong in each of these items that emerge. There appears to be a missing of what frankly for me are more important points.

For example, many individuals have sacrificed their time and efforts to do their best to help their fellow human beings. They are hidden anonymously as nurses, doctors, first responders, those who work in food stores, pharmacies, etc. risking getting sick themselves while ensuring others are safe. There are the family members who are grieving for loved ones lost to whom they never really got a chance to say “goodbye.” And, yes, there are those who have suffered economic loss because their source of income was taken away from them by regulation, lockdown and the like. There are experts who are providing guidance as to what they feel is a best course of action, and trying to state what is known, frankly what is unknown, and how with time, how findings will emerge.

I must admit, my wife and I are among the more cautious, as opportunities present themselves to be able to get our lives back to things we used to do routinely. We have postponed two vacations to same time next year. We don’t see ourselves eating out anytime soon, whether it be outdoors, restricted indoors, etc. (We have gotten takeout on occasion and brought it back home). At the same time, I realize our situation may be different than others. For us, it is just the two of us. We were already “retired” from our long time first positions, and now living life where we took on second careers that gave us flexibility to work them at a schedule that works for us. We also do not have children at home that we were responsible for learning virtually. Our household did not suddenly change by having multiple generations back under the same roof when it appeared that older children would be away at school. And, we manage pretty well sharing the same internet service and bandwidth in one house, as opposed to having several people fight for that resource.

Therefore, my suggestion to all is as lockdown restrictions are loosen, and different opportunities that have been closed become available do not FORCE family and friends to take to them the same as you may. If someone is reluctant to do a similar activity as you, don’t look to “shame them” into doing so. Don’t preach to them that I can’t do it the same way as you and then go on for minutes on end as to why you felt stifled when asked to follow restrictions to protect yourself, but even more so others. In fact, if one approaches me that way going forward I will have two words for them, BROOKLYN BRIDGE!!!

It will be my polite way of saying to them, you do what you feel you must do, and I’ll do what I feel I must do. It will also be my way of reminding myself, I never CHOSE to do something at other stages of my life that I felt I had to do because others were doing it, so why start now, (especially if the only one immediately impacted is myself, and those who are close to me and I care about very much).