“Hey” is For Horses
I know that I am a part of the “OK Boomer” generation. I realize that individuals from my generation are characterized as being resistant to change, slow with technology, and stuck in the past. However, despite that, and realizing that things do change over time, when did it become acceptable to start written correspondence with another individual, (especially one that you may have never met before or are connecting with to discuss a business proposal), with “Hey” in your greeting?
While I must admit my level of formality is not one where I expect individuals to address me as “Mr. Calabrese” (Tony or Anthony is more than sufficient), I usually when receiving written correspondence to begin with either the salutation “Dear” or even “Hello” or “Hi,” especially if it is someone I have met before or with whom I have a close relationship. However, not a day goes by that I receive several different emails or sales solicitations that begin either “Hey Tony,” or even others that just say “Hey,” and then immediately get into their sales pitch. To say, that I am turned off immediately does not begin to describe my feelings.
Even in my younger days, I remember being chastised by older individuals if addressing someone with the salutation “Hey….” and then calling them by their name. Sometimes one would use such a greeting with a very close friend, or in an informal setting. However, writings in a professional setting always required the best of grammar, spelling, and manners. When one chooses to address their professional correspondence in the salutation with the word “Hey” they are immediately putting a black mark on their credibility with the recipient of their communication.
Business and whether individuals choose to work with you is built on relationships. Relationships take time to build. There is a “know like and trust factor” that needs to be established. Whether I choose to do business with you or you choose to do business with me is a very personal decision. Sometimes I make that decision based on the recommendation of others. Other times I make it based on “a chemistry” that develops between you and me in terms of sharing similar values or approaches to a problem. And, still other times, you or I may be in a very difficult situation, and I need your services or you need my services to get past the difficulty of the moment. There are individuals with whom we may do business even on a frequent basis, and yet we really do not know them that “informally” to address them as we would a casual acquaintance or friend in our network of connections.
The title of this piece is one that I remember my mother saying to my siblings or I when we fell into the habit of addressing someone with the salutation of “Hey.” And, it has not been until recent times, (in the era of social media, electronic communication over hand written communication and individuals losing the ability to communicate as they become more fixated on their telephone as opposed to the person sitting right across from them), that I have seen this protocol violated so frequently.
It takes only a few seconds, and some well thought out manners to properly address another, especially in writing and when connecting with an individual you may have never met before or with whom you would help to do business. Take the time to evaluate your communication and ways you address others. And, be open to asking them what they prefer, or better yet error on the side of caution before casually assuming that everyone looks to be addressed in the style that is comfortable to you.
