Do You Know What Happens When You Assume?
I am blessed to have an excellent memory, particularly of items that I may have been exposed to many years ago. That memory even goes to the level of remembering episodes of TV shows that I saw in my youth, and remembering the dialogue of the characters. One of those shows that I watched in my teens was “The Odd Couple,” the story of two divorced men sharing an apartment in New York City, with very different personalities.
One of the men, Felix Unger, was a fastidious “neat freak.” The other man, Oscar Madison, was as sloppy as one could be. In one episode, the two fellows and one of their girl friends go to the theatre for a show. The 3 people possess 4 tickets for the show, as Oscar could not find a date for the show. While waiting to get into the show, Felix approaches a single woman looking to get a show ticket to ask if she would like the extra ticket. The woman assumes that Felix is looking to sell her the ticket for an exorbitant amount of money, (which was not his intent). The woman panics, and the police are called in, and Felix and Oscar are arrested for ticket scalping. (NOTE: For my younger readers, there was a time there was no such thing as “the resale” market for tickets, and it was a crime to charge for tickets higher than the listed price).
The case goes to court. Felix has decided he will be his own defense attorney. The woman is called as a witness by the prosecutor. When completed, Felix is conducting the cross examination. As part of the cross examination, Felix is looking to re-enact his conversation with her on the night of the show. When it comes time about his asking her about the ticket, and her reaction, it becomes clear that she just naturally expected he was looking to charge her a high price for the ticket. In fact, she indicated she just ASSUMED that he wanted a lot more than face value for the ticket.
Upon hearing the word Assumed, Felix asks the Judge presiding over the case if he could use a blackboard that is in the courtroom. He writes the word ASSUME on the blackboard in capital letters as I have in this sentence. He then breaks the word “apart” for the people in the court, indicating that one must never ASSUME. Because as Felix points out that what happens when one Assumes, is that they wind up making an ASS of U and ME.
In my earlier blog this month, I spoke about that often when starting out with a new client, while I may research a bit about their background, and get an understanding of how I likely will be able to best help them, I know I always need to still go into our engagement with open curiosity. That means I must be ready to ask open ended questions, (ones that begin with the words such as What, Who, Where, When and How), and which cannot be simply answered with Yes or No answers. I must make sure I have heightened my listening skills to be at their best. Additionally, I must be able to have follow-up questions ready for understanding.
Do you find yourself falling into the “trap” of assuming outcomes to events before they happen? For example, do you anticipate you will not get a particular job, and you have not even yet planned out your interview strategy? Do you assume that people that you may want to talk to as part of your search will choose not to speak to you, and you have not even asked them for an opportunity to speak to them? Think through the items in your life where you have “talked yourself out of something” and it has not even yet happened, or you have not looked to give it a try.
When you find yourself in the trap of “Assuming” something will happen a certain way, think back to the Odd Couple episode I described above, (better yet, find the video clip on YouTube, it is there). And, remember, nothing has “definitely happened,” until you have given it a chance to be experienced.
