Defining and Exploring “Your Dreams”
I was in a cafe’ recently, buying my lunch, when a regular at the place came up to get a refill on his coffee. It was obvious he knew the person behind the counter well. The counter worker asked him how he was doing, and without missing a beat he said “I’m living the dream”. It caused me, the job search strategy coach, who is always working with people to assist them move forward to the next opportunity in their life, to chuckle to myself.
After ordering, I took a table by the window, and my friend from the counter, was sitting at one of the outdoor tables at the cafe’, sipping on his coffee. He certainly was the picture of relaxation. He appeared to be a younger senior citizen, or at least approaching that age range. He was dressed in a t-shirt, running shorts and sneakers. He sat there enjoying his coffee, watching the traffic go by on the busy street where the cafe’ was located. A younger woman, who was working on her computer, also sitting in the outdoor seating area, and he later were having a conversation. Although inside, I could see from his relaxed way of expressing himself, he was there engaged in the moment, sharing his wisdom with her.
The “living the dream” phrase stuck in my mind for the rest of the day. It was not the first time I had heard it. Usually when I have heard it before, it was generally used in a sarcastic tone. An individual might find themselves in a bad job situation, or a personal situation where everything seems to be going wrong. They’re frustrated, angry, and when someone asks them how they are doing, they’re likely to say with stress in their voice “I’M LIVING THE DREAM!” For Seinfeld fans, picture George Constanza responding to Jerry in one of his harrowing moments.
However, as I thought about the quote further, and even looking at it from the perspective of my own life, it is indeed possible to “live the dream”. Admittedly, often a few things need to be in play. One of them of course is actually having a dream, or perhaps in more technical talk “a plan.” It does not even need to have all the details worked out. But, if you have some idea of what you want for your life, it helps to get you started.
In my own case, it started actually when I was married to my first wife, Jeanne. Jeanne herself actually probably had “the dream,” long before I had. She knew she was tiring of her corporate job. She knew that having put in over 30 years at the company where she worked put her into a position for early retirement. She had smartly put money aside in the investment account that she had at work. Fortunately her spouse, me, had done things similarly in his life. We did not have many lavish expenses. In fact, Jeanne’s only concern was once she stopped working, she had to wait for me to join her. I appeared more dedicated to my work. I did not feel that my work “kept me from living my life.”
However, as I was approaching fifty years old, my thoughts started to change about wanting to have some more freedom to my schedule. Having had a father that passed in his early 50’s, (with me now approaching that age range), definitely influenced me. It was not so much I did not want to be active anymore. I wanted more say over “calling the shots” on what I did, how I did it and when I did it.
Jeanne, unfortunately a year after she left full-time employment was diagnosed with cancer that proved to be fatal. Seeing her pass in her mid-50’s, (along with the memory of my father), definitely influenced me to take a step back and question if what I was doing at the time, matched up to what I wanted to be doing. When the answer came back no, I knew it was time to move on.
Admittedly, I was fortunate. My financial circumstances allowed me to explore. I actually know about “planning a search process,” than when I actually lived the process myself. In fact, it became the business that I do in helping others. What is “the dream” you are looking to live? What may it take for you to get there, or even a step on the way there? Are you willing to try to make “the dream” happen, or are you content to just sit back and bemoan why it never will?
