Are You One Who Always Says “NO”?
One of the realities about our world today is that we learn of things happening around our world faster than ever before. There is not much that can happen that does not quickly prompt several internet articles, newscasts, videos, etc. in a matter of minutes. Often there are great pluses in having instant access. However, what I find equally disturbing is the amount of negative reaction that any article, any report, any activity can generate. I am all in favor of there being disagreement on the way to approach a situation. Healthy discussion of alternatives has the ability to lead to an answer that may work for a larger number of individuals. When the feedback provided however offers no suggestions, comes with the intent to be mean spirited and destructive, or is just a way of sharing the frustration with one’s own life and hope in turn to spill those feelings onto other people’s lives, then that just has no value at all.
Those navigating transitions in their life may often be vulnerable in terms of their feelings. Many times they may be trying out new behaviors. If they have not thought the transition out fully, they may not have settled on their target destination. As such, when in transition, watch out for those around you with negative thoughts. Before immediately stopping your plans, give pause to think from where their comments to you may be coming.
Are they one who has taken on other transitions in their life before? Or have they been basically in the same place and doing and saying the same thing the whole time you have known them? Are they happy with their own life? Or do you find that their energy level always has them in the role of a victim or someone who is continually angry or in conflict? That type of individual will never be the type of support person you will need through the transition you are looking to make. If all they’re able to tell you are the reasons why something will not work, as opposed to offering suggestions that you may want to try that will move you toward what you are looking to achieve, then you will need to find someway to turn off their voice as an influence in you life.
Perhaps you are that person who looks to write the negative comment at the end of an internet post. Or perhaps you are that caller to a radio or telephone talk show who has nothing good to say about any situation. What do you do when faced with a major change in your life? Do you just bemoan your fate? Do you look for everyone around you to feel sorry for you? Do you come up with every reason you can as to why what is happening to you is the worst thing that it can be, and that there is no way forward?
If you are that person, there is hope for you if you are willing to be receptive to it. You do have a choice over the actions you can choose to take next. You can set goals to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. There is the ability to realize while the long range goal may be a ways off, that there are intermediate goals to set along the way to both target and reach. There are also alternative perspectives to most every situation that comes up. That allows you to focus on the parts of a situation that may provide some value for you and others who share that view. It also may allow you some thought into other’s perspectives and why they may believe that way, even if you yourself do not.
Our continually changing world is not going away. In fact, it has always been there. It is just now that we learn about the changes a lot faster than before. Therefore, we receive the impact of reactions a lot faster also. What has not changed is that we select our choices on how we react, we choose the actions we want to take, and we in turn can evaluate the results of those actions and choose to continue them, modify them or change them completely. However, be aware of those around you who have made the choice to always say “no” to everything they experience. Don’t let them stop you from successfully navigating the transitions in your life the way they have short circuited them in theirs.
