What’s The Village That Drives Your Life?

by on November 18, 2010

midlife career, relationship changes, life coach

What’s The Village That Drives Your Life?

Facing transitional issues at midlife confronts many of us. Whether it is if we want to continue working full-time or adjust to a less rigid schedule, or move from where we are living or pursue a passion we have always had but never had the time to fully enjoy, it is not unusual that these crossroads occur.  Transitions often do not happen instantaneously.  They are an evolving process with many twists and turns along the way.   Those challenges along the trail of change can cause all sorts of emotions within us.  However, each of us needs to find that quiet and comfortable little place where we allow ourselves to be there only for ourselves and nobody else.  It is that place of reflection, relaxation and comfort for us.

Over the course of the last year I have transitioned my life so that I am working out of my own home.   While I enjoy that tremendously, one of the realities of the situation is that for long stretches of a day I am alone, either in front of my computer, reading interesting articles, or just planning what I want to do next to move my business forward.  Each day, however, I look forward to the midpoint of the day.   At that time, I pull away from my desk, put on my walking shoes and head to my village.  My village is my place to reconnect both with the world around me, and with I want to share and contribute to it.

When I moved in to the home of my wife, Carolina, after our marriage in 2009, one of the attractions of living where we do was Maplewood Village.  Maplewood is a small town in New Jersey, population a bit over 20,000 people.  It is ethnically and socially diverse.  The shops in the village, which are all in short walking distance, are all small and themed in nature.  There are many places to eat with various choices, from places to pick up something quickly, to some of the most elegant restaurants in the state of New Jersey.  The village has a movie theatre, a small but functional market and is adjacent to a train station that allows one to travel in a relaxed fashion to New York City.

When I reach midday and take my short walk to the village and choose out where I will eat that day, I’m able to be alone with my thoughts.  I think of either the articles I’m working on, a conference I may be attending, the activities going on with my wife and my life or just quietly reflect on something I have read about in the news.  Just about every day I eat alone, but at the same time I’m surrounded by people.  It helps to recharge me for my afternoon activities as I realize that we are all connected in doing the best we can to make our lives as fulfilling as possible.

While for me the village at lunchtime helps to provide that energy boost, it may be something completely different for someone else.  It may be taking part in a recreational activity, meeting up with friends, taking a long walk or simply quietly meditating.  The point is, each one of us when we stop and really put our mind to it have that something that helps get us back in focus when that which we are doing becomes mundane or overwhelming.  For each one of us the key is finding that thing, and being open to the fact that even that something may change as we move forward through our life.

Therefore, I ask you “What is the village that drives your life”?   How do you find that time for yourself to focus only on you and where you want to move forward on your life’s journey?   If your answer to yourself is that you don’t have the time to do so, or can’t waste the time to make such an effort, I implore you to rethink your position.  You are only cheating yourself.  Those items or people that you feel you must be there for will still be there when you get back from that place that is truly yours to be alone with your thoughts.   When you can be comfortable in your own company you are taking the first step to being comfortable with any situation or change which may come your way.

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