Making It to the Right Path
One of the realities when you are a coach is eventually your engagements with your clients do end. While that usually happens when the client reaches the goal they were targeting when the coaching relationship began, it can end at any time particularly if the client does not care to continue the coaching relationship for whatever reason. I just had one such situation. While my client is still in job search, those things we worked on over the length of the coaching relationship will serve him well as he continues his search. However, the most meaningful part was his words to me when he decided to not continue the coaching engagement any further. He indicated that our experience together had him moving in the right direction and he realized the steps that he needed to continue to take.
When one is trained to be a coach, one of the first lessons that you learn is that the client always has the right answers for themselves. In our role as coach we are a facilitator, asking questions of the client to bring out their innermost thoughts on what is right for them. Sometimes, that may be the goal they stated when the relationship started. Other times along the way the client learns that perhaps there are other underlying things they wanted to achieve that were being masked by the original goal. Additionally they may find that which is going to meet their needs may have been part of them all along, but they needed to see it from a different viewpoint.
Another lesson coaches are taught is to be “detached” from the outcome. By being detached, it does not mean that we don’t care. It instead means to keep oneself true to the process, no one outcome should mean more to us as the coach than another. The client will ultimately realize what is right for them. Therefore, in my career coaching, I must avoid getting attached to the client getting one particular job, or if working with me on a life issue one particular outcome that I feel is best for the client. It’s not about me. It is always about the client.
If an issue in your life has you stuck, while an eventual solution may appear overwhelming, it will remain so if you don’t take the time to determine the path you want to take to get to that solution. Making that determination will take some introspection, perhaps some conversations with a neutral, non-judgmental accountability partner, and even some exploration on a couple of different paths before choosing the one right for oneself. Being on the path may also mean the “final answer” or “goal,” may still be several steps away. However, as my client had said to me, before working with me the steps he was taking were completely not leading him to where he wanted to go. The ones that I and the materials I introduced him to made far more sense to follow. And, while I may not be with him when he reaches the end of his particular journey, it feels good to know I helped start him down the right path.
