Do Realize, the Choice Is (and Was) Yours

by on November 25, 2010

Do Realize, the Choice Is (and Was) Yoursmidlife relationship changes midlife coach

I was sitting and reflecting earlier today about this period of life that is termed “mid-life”.  My morning had been busy juggling some household tasks, with some personal needs, balanced by commitments I have made to an organization of which I am a part.  By midday, I was a bit frazzled and decided to step out of the house for awhile and be alone with my thoughts.  While sitting I contemplated where my life is today and from where it has come over the last 5 years.

I began thinking of those who are my peers at this stage of life.  What things do they think about when they reflect on where they have come from and where they are now?  What are the things about their life at present they enjoy?  What things would they consider changing?  How in tune with their feelings are they as go about their day to day activities?

One thing that I’m more aware of today than I was of several years back is how much choice I have in how I decide to move forward with my life.   Let me be clear of one thing.  I firmly understand that in each person’s life situations happen which a person has not planned for or for which they do not ask.  I better than anyone know this having been there to support my wife through her terminal illness 5 years ago.  How I have evolved from those moments to where I am today has all been because of a continuous set of choices that I have made, and continue to make, as new challenges emerge from my day to day experiences.

I do find it frustrating when those in my age bracket (that mid-life group between 45 to 60 years of age), say that they’re too old to try something new, or that they can’t learn a new skill or talent.  There is a lot of frustration with the condition of the world today, and many are waiting for something to happen before they make their next move.  However, by possessing such negative, energy draining thoughts, what those in that mindset have done is actually exercised their choice.   They have chosen to let others control their lives and the reactions they have to it.

Making a choice and the continual decisions based on that choice isn’t easy.  If your choice is to change, change in itself can often bring discomfort with its unfamiliarity.  Making the choice to do nothing however, can be equally as painful.  If the status quo is not getting you what you want, or doing the same things is leaving you in the same situation, what is holding you back from trying a new approach?

Yes, making a choice can be frightening.  However, it can also be exciting.   It can open you up to new experiences and friendships and new ways of looking at things.  It empowers you whey you know that if the choice you have made is not getting you to where you want to be, you can always make other choices.  Choice is neither good nor bad, it just is.  If the outcome does not work out the way you expected, chalk it up to a learned experience and move on.

Therefore, be aware you have the choice to move your life into whatever direction you choose.  Combined with the awareness of that fact will both help you to move forward when past decisions don’t work out as planned and when you are deciding on what challenging paths to take.  While this fact is always true in your life, it is particularly relevant for those facing “mid-life transition issues”.   Realize that more people than ever before are experiencing the same things at this time of life as you are.  The details may be different, what is important to one may not be the same as what is important to another, but the process is still the same.  Embrace your challenges, rejoice in the choices that you make and grow in the knowledge that you are the one making the decisions that move your life forward.   Remember the choice to do so (or not do so), is yours.

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