Choose Not To Be a Victim to the Conflict in Your Life

by on January 26, 2011

Choose Not To Be a Victim to the Conflict in Your Life

I must admit that I am not a person who enjoys conflict or dealing with unpleasant situations in my life.  A person whom I admire very much once described me as a “people pleasing person”.  I’ve always had empathy for the other person’s point of view and truly feel bad if I’m the cause of pain to another.

For as long as I can remember, when confronted with a person whose views conflicted with my own, or when faced with acting upon a situation with which I wasn’t comfortable, I often suffered in silence.  I was making myself a victim accepting that which was going on around me as opposed to taking a different course of action.  By accepting conflict as a victim I found myself walking around with anger inside.  It could cause me to snap back at someone for the most innocent of comments because my reaction might not be from what they had said, but with my thoughts being preoccupied by that which was troubling me.  Generally I’m a very calm and easy going person.  However, when I would react, those around me were startled and really perceived me to be more upset than I really was.  In turn, I felt as if I was not entitled to ever fully express my emotions.

Today I find myself a far calmer individual.  I enjoy life’s experiences far more than I did in the past.  When uncomfortable situations do occur in my life, while I can fall back on some of my previous tendencies, I’m far more knowledgeable about the fact that I have other choices on how to deal with conflict and change.  As such, I know I am enjoying my life and those in it far more than I ever did in the past.

What’s the secret to the change?  Well being a victim to the conflicts in your life is only one choice that you have.   I’ve found that you can walk away from conflict.  At other times while you cannot change the particulars of the conflicting situation you can change your perspective on how you choose to view it.  Sometimes the answer is to work with the situation or person with whom you are in disagreement and come up with areas that you share common ground and move forward from there.  And, at other times after thinking everything through and realizing that you cannot change the situation or person causing you the angst, you accept the situation for what it is.

While none of these approaches is necessarily easy to implement at a moment’s notice, being aware that they are choices for you is the first step.  From there, using them within your life and having success with both implementing them and receiving the benefits of how you feel by doing so, encourages you to use them again as additional difficult situations confront you.  As time goes on they become more and more of a way of life for you.

This month on the Absolute Transitions website (, I am providing as a gift to all of you a 6 part E-Course, free of charge, on the topic of “Overcoming Obstacles to Change in Your Life”.  In particular, it focuses on conflict and problems coming into your life and provides 5 different approaches that what can use to address them.  Once you sign up for the E-Course, each of the 6 parts will come to your e-mail inbox a few days a part.  The lessons are not long to complete.  However, they provide you both educational approaches to increase your awareness, plus thought provoking questions on how you may want to apply what you have learned in your life.

There is no need to just suffer and take what is happening to you.  Remember that pain in your life is inevitable, but the choice to suffer is your option.  Make the choice to take a step to address the suffering by checking out this offering.  You have nothing to lose by doing so, and frankly will gain additional knowledge and awareness that will help serve you the rest of your life.

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